Last year around this time I shared a picture of me wrapping up 2022 next to the Japanese Blueberry tree I planted, holding my newborn baby on one hand, and the manuscript of my first book on the other.

You guys weren't kidding when you said time flies once you have kids…

Here I am, one year later, wrapping up 2023 next to the Japanese Blueberry tree that is now taller than me, holding my 13 month-old ray of sunshine on one hand, and The Learning Game on the other. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for tagging along my journey. The Learning Game became a reality because of you!

And while I haven’t written much in 2023, it’s been a crazy busy year selling my first book, releasing new exciting products at Synthesis (more below!), and raising my baby boy. But before I give you this year’s review and share the inside scoop on the Synthesis Tutor, here is my Fab Holiday Gift Guide with some of my favorite gift ideas for you!

• My top 3 parenting/education books of this year: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy, Raising Critical Thinkers by Julie Bogart, and The Learning Game (hopefully if you are here you are familiar with the author :))

• Two of my favorite children books: Beautiful Oops! by Barney Saltzberg and What Do You Do with an Idea? by Kobi Yamada

• LovEvery’s Play Kits: I’m obsessed with these montessori-inspired toy kits for babies and toddlers because they are simple, developmentally appropriate, and inspire open-ended play. I got the subscription for my son that delivers a new Play Kit every 2 to 3 months and he loves it! (This is NOT a paid partnership, I just really like their product)

• A membership to Synthesis Tutor: A fun way for kids to go deep in elementary math with their own personal AI tutor. It’s filled with interactive games and puzzles that uncover BIG ideas and lead kids to achieve true understanding of math. More info below + a 20% discount for Fab readers!

Recap of 2023

During 2023, I had over 60 conversations with wonderful podcast hosts to talk about the future of education, The Learning Game, and so much more. You can find some of my favorite ones here (including 4 episodes in Spanish!)

I also got to record the audiobook of The Learning Game, which was an experience I’ll never forget. You can purchase the audiobook here!

The Learning Game is currently being translated into Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Indonesian, Arabic, and Portuguese, which is crazy exciting. I look forward to many more translations in 2024!

Last but not least, it has been an incredible year for Synthesis. We launched our most innovative product yet – our digital tutor – and we couldn’t be more excited. The response and feedback from the Synthesis community has been outstanding, and the team continues to work hard to improve the product and bring thousands of kids up to the 99th percentile (literally!) in core subjects. I wanted to take a minute to tell you more about the Synthesis Tutor, and share some reflections on why I think it will revolutionize childhood education. 

The Synthesis Tutor

If you’re not absolutely sure that school is broken, just look at how we teach math. 

I saw the problems firsthand. My students would ace worksheet after worksheet, but when they’d face a math problem in real life, they would freeze. They had no idea how to apply what they “learned” in class, even those who aced the test. My kids were winning the game of school—and failing the learning game.

As a teacher, you want to give every kid individual attention, but you just don’t have time—and the apps out there are terrible. They focus heavily on rote memorization of formulas and procedures, ignoring the development of conceptual understanding. 

Here’s the thing…Mathematics is not just about memorizing steps. It’s about understanding the underlying principles and applying them to solve real-world problems. I would argue that these apps that prioritize memorization hinder students' ability to think critically and apply mathematical concepts in meaningful ways. It also makes math seem like a daunting and boring task.

If we want kids to really learn and enjoy math, we need to rethink math from the ground up. 

Instead of memorizing rote facts and instructions, what if kids focused on owning the big ideas of math for themselves? What if instead of worksheets and drills, kids learned those big ideas by playing games with a one-on-one personal tutor?

That’s the idea behind Synthesis Tutor.

First and foremost, Synthesis Tutor focuses on understanding, not memorization. In school, kids learn how to give teachers the answers that the teachers want—that’s the game of school. If you’ve read my book, you know the game of school does not transfer well to the game of life. Real, true, genuine learning happens when a child understands why the right answer is right. That’s the learning game. 

A private tutor is one of the best ways to win the learning game because it sees when a child is just parroting facts they don’t understand and frames new problems that push kids to pause and think for themselves.

That’s why, in the 1980s, researcher Benjamin Bloom found that kids who learn with private tutors perform better than 98% of classroom students. 

That’s a pretty big deal… It's the difference between community college and the Ivy League!

Sadly, excellent private tutors are hard to find—and extremely expensive. Companies tried to use apps and videos to get similar results, but none of them had the magical ability of a private tutor. None of them could notice when a child was getting the right answer without understanding why math works the way it does.

Then, a secret government agency called DARPA made a groundbreaking discovery. They found a way to make a digital tutor that could identify misunderstandings and guide students to think hard until they truly grasped the core concepts. As a result, students didn’t perform better than 98% of classroom students. With the DARPA digital tutor, they performed better than 99.99%+ of classroom students. 

That’s the definition of “off the charts.”

In the world of education, this is like discovering the atom. This would make it possible for any kid with a computer to get the highest quality education imaginable. 

The original researchers who created the DARPA digital tutor partnered with Synthesis to bring it to the masses. Synthesis expanded on their research, customized it for kids, and took it even further with modern AI tools. Synthesis is now building out a full-stack online education for kids with Synthesis Tutor, starting first with mathematics. 

Here’s a great example of how the tutor works. Notice how it identifies this 9-year-old’s misunderstandings and gently guides him until he figures out the right answer on his own. 

The genius behind Synthesis Math Tutor is Dr. James Tanton. He earned his PhD in math from Princeton University and then became a world-renowned math teacher. He is the math teacher I wish I had as a child, and the one I’d love my children to learn from. Tanton has designed the entire curriculum of Synthesis Tutor so that it feels like working one-on-one with him. It’s filled with toys, games, and puzzles that uncover the deep structure of math. 

Kids get to play and tinker with all of these fun little activities—and all along the way, their own personal digital tutor (Dr. Tanton in a box!) guides them to see how these explorations reveal the beauty, power, and magic of math. 

What happens as a result? Kids not only learn math—they learn to enjoy learning math, something I rarely saw in traditional classrooms. Just listen to this one student…

Right now, kids can dive into over 50 lessons with Synthesis Tutor, covering place value, addition, subtraction, multiplication, the history of numbers, and early fractions, algebra, binary computer code, and complex systems science. And we have new lessons coming out every month :) 

I’m convinced that Synthesis Tutor will change the education game—from the game of school to the learning game. For so many kids, math feels boring, dry, and oftentimes, impossible to understand. But with Synthesis Tutor, I feel like there’s hope. There’s hope that kids will see math as “the beautiful, rich, joyful, playful, surprising, frustrating, humbling, and creative art” that it truly is. 

For those interested, as a Fab Fridays subscriber, you can get 20% off Synthesis Tutor. That’s $200 off their lifetime plan! The discount also applies to monthly and annual plans. Sign up today and just enter the code “FAB” at checkout.

Thank you for reading and for sticking around this year. I’m excited to revive this newsletter in 2024 and hope you have a wonderful Holiday season!

Ana

P.S. I announced a HOLIDAY GIVEAWAY on Instagram this morning for 5 signed copies of The Learning Game! Check out this post to participate :)

I cannot believe the day is finally here! You can now find The Learning Game in bookstores near you, and in all formats (audiobook, kindle, hardcopy) wherever you shop for books online.

Order 'The Learning Game' Here

It feels surreal… what started as a small newsletter turned into a book... an actual book! And it’s all because of you all. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for believing in me and supporting my work. I cannot wait for you to read the final product and let me know what you think!

I made this short video of my book writing journey :)

Let me tell you, writing a book is one thing. Trying to sell it is a whole ‘nother beast.

I’ve spent the past few months having great conversations on several podcasts (they will all come out this week, so stay tuned!), writing articles for newspapers and magazines, doing radio interviews and other speaking engagements, recording the audiobook for The Learning Game, planning book events, and trying to share more content on my social platforms (see my instagram, youtube, and tiktok).

Yes.. all this in preparation for launch week. And here I was, thinking that September 5 marked the end of this process. Little did I know.. that it’s just the beginning.

I got this sound advice from a friend and fellow author:

“Launching a book is like running an all out mile (launch week), only to find yourself on the start-line of a 5K (first month) only to find yourself on the start-line of a marathon (first year). Do what you can to stay patient and conserve energy. Everyone stresses the first week but good-selling books are made over the first year.”

So let the journey continue! Thank you all for tagging along.

What is The Learning Game about?

How can you help on launch day?

You’ve already done so much to support this book by being an early reader, but if you’re willing to do more, here are some ways you can can help me spread this important message:

• Share a photo of The Learning Game and tag me on Twitter, Instagram, or LinkedIn!

• Leaving an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads

• Gifting The Learning Game to friends, family, or colleagues

• Introducing me to any podcasts or media you think would entertain a conversation

• Putting the ideas in this book into practice with your family

As you know, I’m dedicating my career and life to course-correcting childhood education, and I want to make sure this book reaches as many people as possible. Your support means everything.

If you are in Miami, I would LOVE for you to join me in person today for the launch of The Learning Game! Register here for free.

Thank you for reading!

Ana

Order your copy of ‘The Learning Game’ below:

The day is finally here!!!!! I am thrilled to announce that my first book is available for pre-order.

It’s called THE LEARNING GAME: Teaching Kids to Think for Themselves, Embrace Challenge, and Love Learning (Amazon | Barnes & Noble | ThriftBooks).

It will be published by Harriman House on September 5, 2023, but you can pre-order your copy today! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!

PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY NOW

What is the book about?

After years of teaching, I made the hard decision to leave the school system. There had to be a better way to prepare younger generations for the game of life…

• How can we transform the game of school into the game of learning?

• How do we make learning sustainable through childhood and into adulthood?

•  How can we go back to the root of what makes kids excited to learn?

•  How can we arm kids with the tools they need to succeed in the game of learning—and the game of life?

The Learning Game is my attempt to answer these questions. It’s a collection of my work, lessons, and findings since I quit teaching. It’s about how to challenge things we’ve all taken for granted, from the roots of our education system to the modern school curriculum.

My hope is that this book will arm you with practical tools to design a new approach to learning—one that leaves behind the game of school and prepares your kids for the game of life.

PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY NOW

How can you help?

If you want to support me in this endeavor, here’s how you can help:

1. Pre-order the book: You can pre-order the book ahead of its September release, and I will be forever thankful. You can do that here: (Amazon | Barnes & Noble | ThriftBooks).

2. Share the news on social media: If you want to help me spread the word, you can share the book with family and friends. Tweet it here.

3. Introductions: If you or someone you know has a platform (newsletter, podcast, YouTube, etc) with a large audience (100,000+ people), and you’d like to make an introduction, please fill out this form.

4. Sign up for my newsletter Fab Fridays where I will be sharing more updates as we get closer to launch day. Sign up here.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for tagging along my journey and for giving my work a slice of your attention. This book has only been possible because of you.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Here I am… wrapping up 2022 next to the Japanese Blueberry tree I planted, holding my baby on one hand, and the manuscript of my first book on the other. My heart is so full.

Unlike other years where I work on several things at the same time, this year I decided to slow down and focus on two long term projects — my first baby and my first book. Although I’ve missed writing on a weekly basis, I must say I’ve enjoyed nesting and the change in pace.

On October 27, 2022 we welcomed our first child, Fernando Enrique, into this world and my heart has been overflowing with love ever since. Being a mom is the most important, rewarding, and challenging job I’ve ever had, and it’s made my work more meaningful than ever. I’m excited to see how this reflects in my writing next year.

After writing my newsletter consistently for over a year, I decided to turn my best ideas into a book and I cannot wait to share details with you very soon. The manuscript is finally ready and pre-orders will be available in January! Eeeek!!

Thank you all for making this dream possible. Wishing you and your loved ones a lovely Holiday Season and a Happy New Year.

With love,

Ms. Fab

Happy Friday and greetings from Miami, where I’ve been nesting for the past couple of months awaiting for baby’s arrival. Ms. Fab is almost there!!!!

I’ve been using my very limited energy to finalize the baby’s room and my book manuscript. I’m excited to get to the finish line (for both babies— ha!) and already picked the book title and cover design.

I can’t wait to share the final product with all of you next year. Thank you for your support and patience while I work on these two important projects!

In the meantime, here are some book recommendations and a few updates.

Ms. Fab’s Reading Recommendations:

These days I find myself jumping from one book to another, and even revisiting some old favorites. Since many of you have been asking for recommended reads, here are few:

• Free to Learn by Dr. Peter Gray: This is one of my absolute favorite books about education, parenting, and self-development. I highly recommend it to parents interested in learning about kids’ natural ways of learning and the life-long value of play. Speaking of play…

  • I recently listened to an interesting and informative podcast by Andrew Huberman on how we (adults) can use play to rewire and improve our brain.

  • David Perell and I also did a Show & Tell episode on The Secret Power of Creative Play a couple of years ago. We talked about the connections between creative play and learning, how different types of play lead to different kinds of learning, how to help kids develop as creative thinkers through play, and opportunities for creative play using technology.

• Lifelong Kindergarten by Mitchel Resnick explores the why and how of creative thinking, why it’s so important in today’s world, and strategies to help kids develop as creative thinkers. Speaking of creative thinking…

  • David Perell and I also recorded a Show & Tell episode on What does it Mean to Be Creative back in 2020. We bust some common myths about creativity and talk about the importance of changing the narrative around this fuzzy topic to unleash a generation of creators.

  • One of my most popular articles is The Do’s and Don’ts of Creativity. I share 10 things you're doing that could hurt your kid’s creative development.

• Raising Critical Thinkers by Julie Bogart gives practical tips to help kids deal with cyberbullying, navigate fake news, and develop a questioning mindset. Speaking of critical thinking…

  • Last week, Synthesis launched a new website. You can check it out here! I especially love all of the amazing videos, showing off our Synthesis families and our incredible students. We also released a new Parent Knowledge Base. If you're interested in how Synthesis works, I recommend you give it a read.

• Why They Can’t Write by John Warner: This is not just a book about writing…it’s about teaching, learning, and what we can do to improve our education system. This is one of those books I like to revisit every year! Speaking of the power of writing…

David Perell’s Write of Passage is now open for Fall enrollment!

As many of you know, this five-week online writing course by David Perell was the starting point of my journey as a writer, online creator, and EDUpreneur. It’s what helped me nail my dream job, find my voice, and meet you all!

I cannot recommend it enough for anyone interested in becoming a citizen of the internet, switching careers, meeting like-minded people, and getting started with writing.

I did a workshop with David Perell last year where I shared my journey through this course and tips on how you can harness your specific knowledge in a way that grows your career and brings joy to your intellectual life.

It’s an important investment, so if you are considering taking the course please feel free to reach out with any questions you may have. I’m happy to share my experience and help out in any way I can. And if you do end up enrolling, sign up using my affiliate link below!

Enroll in Write of Passage

Have a great weekend,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Unfortunately, it’s hard to find the benefits of the education system in America.  

The education system we know today started gaining steam in the 1960s. The theme was standardization and efficiency by putting kids on a learning assembly line: Move them from class to class with specialized teachers, limit play to reduce waste, and control quality with tests. 

Sadly, this model has not led to a boom in education. Let’s look at some eye-opening stats:

13-year-old kids score only 2.8% better than kids from 1970 in math. And they score only 1% better in reading!! (Analyze data here.)

What’s even more concerning: over half of American adults today can’t read above a 6th-grade level! No wonder confidence in public schools is at all-time lows.

Source 1: https://www.barbarabush.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/BBFoundation_GainsFromEradicatingIlliteracy_9_8.pdf

Source 2: https://news.gallup.com/poll/394283/confidence-institutions-down-average-new-low.aspx

The American system was designed to create factory managers to improve the economy, but that’s not exactly what has happened. 

The US has struggled to make progress in critically important areas since 1970. For example, compare how long it takes us to build things today with this list by Patrick Collison, co-founder and CEO of Stripe.

Certainly, we've made huge advances in tech. But our most famous tech leaders dropped out of their degrees: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerburg…Their stories are so powerful because they highlight something that millions of students wonder: 

What’s the point of school?

But the situation isn’t hopeless for our kids. In fact, it’s incredibly exciting.

They live in a time of infinite possibility–not because the traditional way of learning in school works…but because of what’s possible outside of school. (Here is a list of options!) 

Today’s kids have something every generation of humans before them could only imagine: The internet. 

More people than ever have the opportunity to educate themselves. For the first time, kids can control their learning, pursue their interests, and make things for people to use across the globe. Kids can learn almost anything they want with platforms like Wikipedia and YouTube. They can code apps, design art, film videos…the list is endless.

In this episode of Show & Tell, David Perell and I discuss creative uses of technology to learn and produce, the power of self-directed learning, the Tik-Tok theory of culture, and how digital tools have revolutionized different industries.

(We recorded this video a while ago, when I was just getting started and stuck at the beach in the middle of the pandemic with no video or audio equipment, so apologies in advance for the quality of the video!)

As I’ve mentioned before, schools use old techniques that weren’t designed to help us reach our unique potential. To leverage the internet, we need to step out of the traditional way of thinking about education…and this is one of the things that I cover in my upcoming book.

I will be sending updates about the book in the upcoming weeks! In the meantime, if you’d like to learn more about the history of education, check out my previous article: The Origin of the Modern School System

Have a great weekend!

Ana Lorena Fabrega 

P.S. I’m a big fan of Sora Schools, and was pleased to see that they have scholarship opportunities available for September start! Sora is a project-based, fully-accredited middle and high school that helps students pursue their interests and discover who they are. If you have a disengaged middle or high schooler and would like to try a new approach to their education, I would check them out (I have no affiliation to Sora but love what they are building. Sharing this in case it is helpful!)

But before we dive into specific mental models for parenting…let’s recap:

What are mental models?

Mental models are general rules of thumb about how the world works. Every discipline has them: biology, physics, economics, psychology, etc. They’re the most basic ideas from each discipline that we can use to understand the fundamentals of life. 

Consider the idea of critical mass. In nuclear engineering, it means the smallest amount of uranium needed for a chain reaction. But this idea applies to other things, too:

• the smallest number of customers for a business

• the smallest number of lessons to learn math

• ideas can attain critical mass

As investor Charlie Munger says, we need mental models because if the facts don’t hang together on a latticework of theory, you don’t have them in usable form. 

“Mental models are critical for anyone interested in thinking clearly, rationally, and effectively” —James Clear

With mental models, parents can recognize patterns in their kids, get clarity about what they’re facing, and make good decisions about how to effectively partner with them. 

To unpack how mental models work, let’s look at the story of Darlene, a NICU nurse.

One day, Darlene walked past an incubator and noticed the baby inside. The monitors showed normal vital signs, but the child's skin didn’t look right, its belly was distended, and its heel still bled from where they had pricked it. Darlene felt like something wasn’t right…

She immediately requested antibiotics. The doctor wasn’t too worried, but they trusted Darlene, ordered the medicine, and ran tests. As it turns out, the baby was in the early stages of sepsis, a potentially deadly case of whole-body inflammation from an infection.

Darlene recognized the sick baby faster than anyone else because she used a mental model to make sense of all the facts. She had an image in her head about what a healthy baby looks like. And when this baby didn’t fit that pattern, she knew to take decisive action.

Just like Darlene used a mental model to improve a child’s physical health, we can use mental models to improve our kids’ emotional, social, and intellectual health. Let’s look at four examples:

4 Mental Models for Parents

Maslow’s Hammer

The psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “If the only tool you have is a hammer, it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail."

It’s very easy for parents to fall into this trap. We learn one tactic and start to see every problem in that light. When our kids misbehave, maybe we think they hadn’t had enough punishments, need more rewards, more well-behaved friends, or some other pat solution.

The truth is that when kids start acting out of character, they probably need something new, not more of the same. Each stage of their young life is unique. They’re growing, developing, changing, and facing new situations. We need a variety of tools at our disposal to meet kids where they are and help them adapt to their latest challenges.

Reactance

People are like bars of soap: the harder you squeeze, the more likely it is to slip away. In the same way, the more we’re pressured to do something, the less we want to do it. We might enjoy running, but as soon as our PE teacher makes us run, it feels miserable. Psychologists call this reactance. 

Humans naturally want choice and autonomy–and that goes for kids too. If you really want your child to do something, but they continue to fight against you, ask whether you’ve given them a choice at all.

It’s counterintuitive, but giving them autonomy to participate is often the fastest way to a positive solution for both of you. I wrote more about the importance of autonomy in the article: The Psychology of Screens and shared some ideas for how you can give your kids more autonomy in the article: Engaging Kids without Rewards. 

Nudges

Typically, when we want our kids to change their behavior, we feel like the first step is to convince them of something. Maybe we want them to eat healthy food, so we talk about the importance of fruits. But talking about a healthy diet isn’t enough. We also need to partner with them to design an environment where it’s easier for them to make the best choice.

Social scientists call this a nudge: a simple change in the context that makes good choices easier than bad choices. 

For example, you might ask yourself, “How can I make it easier for them to reach fruit instead of candy?” By making apples and bananas more accessible, you can help them choose natural sugars over processed sugars.

Now, the topic of your conversations with them is different. You’re not simply saying that fruit is better than candy–you’re also talking about how they can help themselves develop better life-long habits. You can discuss with them the benefits of making fruit easier to reach than candy so that when they grow up, they have the skills to set themselves up for a healthy life.

Re-framing

When kids face a crisis, it’s often an issue of framing. They’ve framed the problem in a negative way, but with a new perspective, they can see the positives

Maybe they’re sad because they can’t spend the night at their grandparents’ house, but we can help them look at the situation from a different angle. We can encourage them to use that evening time to write a letter for them or make a craft and surprise them the next day. With the extra time, we have a chance for a new creative project. 

Author Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg calls this reframing in his book, What’s your Problem?

Reframing gives us a way to help kids realize that they often can’t control life–but they can control how they respond to it. Kids can choose to be sad or seize the day and turn the bad situation into something good. (I wrote more about this idea in the article: How to Develop Character with the Stoic Framework)

Here is another example of how we can reframe the learning process so that kids don’t concern themselves with failure: The Super Mario Effect

Building Your Own Mental Models

Together, these four mental models can help parents make sense of complex scenarios. When things get chaotic with kids, we can ask:

• Am I trying to use the wrong tool here? (Maslow’s hammer)

• Am I trying to force something onto my kids without giving them a voice? (reactance)

• How can I encourage them in the right direction? (nudges) 

• Or maybe they need me to help them see the situation from a different perspective? (reframing) 

These models are only four of hundreds of other tools parents can use to help them raise their kids. Let’s look at some other tactics and resources to help build out your own mental models toolkit.

First, check out Farnam Street. This is a company run by Shane Parrish, focused on helping people learn and utilize the best of mental-model thinking. They offer amazingly helpful resources on their blog, their book, and in their course on mental models for parenting.

Second, read Superthinking. This is a book written by Gabriel Weinberg, the founder and CEO of DuckDuckGo, and his wife Lauren McCann. Together, they walk through well over one hundred mental models and how they apply to real life.

Third, start practicing. To use mental models effectively, it’s all about practice. When you see your child act a certain way, ask whether you’ve seen this pattern before. Try to connect the dots, make generalizations with other things you’ve experienced, and see if any commonalities exist.

Fourth, keep a journal. It’s helpful to have some documentation to reference with your child. Take a few minutes to note the things you realized, and what happened as a result. This will give you a resource to refer back to and allow you to find some of the longer-term patterns with your kids. Over time, this will also help you develop some mental models specific to your children. 

Fifth, use checklists. Even when we recognize common patterns, it’s hard to remember the right actions to take. Try testing out some checklists. For example, when your child refuses to go to bed on time, you might create a list of things to try. With enough experimentation, you can find the tactics that work, keep using them while they're effective, and update them as your child grows and develops new patterns.

Despite their usefulness, mental models are rarely taught in school. Imagine if kids learned about these ideas from a young age? They would be better decision makers in all areas of their lives. 

This is one of the many reasons I love Synthesis.  Kids practice solving problems together and using mental models to create solutions when there’s no easy answers. They learn how to create a mental picture of a situation, which becomes a model that they can later apply in similar real-life situations. 

With mental models, we can reduce the complexity of parenting. We can use a few rules of thumb to organize our experience, give us insight, and map the right way forward.

What other mental models are useful for parenting? Would love to hear from you!

Until next time,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Happy Friday and greetings from Miami. This week I’ll be sharing 3 videos with you, I hope you enjoy them!

Negotiating with Kids

Here is my latest YouTube video on How to Negotiate with Kids.

Negotiation isn’t only about business deals or hostage situations. Ultimately, it’s the skill of working with people. That means everyone should learn negotiation…especially people working with kids.

Use this 4 part framework to negotiate with your kids and help them make the best possible choice by using their own critical thinking to analyze their decisions.

If you find this video useful, please like and share it with any parent facing similar issues. Thank you!

How to Lead

Here is a 1 minute heartwarming clip of a conversation between two of our Synthesis students:

“You’re an ace at this. You’re a champion. Your opinion in this class is special, so I’m not letting that go”

We need more of this type of leadership in the world.

How to Navigate Chaos

Synthesis students Milena and Danylo fled Ukraine with their mother, Alona. In this 1 minute clip, Alona sat down with us to share this powerful story. It’s a must-watch.

Every kid deserves to learn the skills needed to thrive in today’s chaotic and unpredictable world, and Synthesis is the best place to get them started with this.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

We had to remember things because we didn’t have the tech to look things up online. Our options were either to take lots of trips to the local library or commit facts to memory. 

Memorization is still important, but for different reasons. Now, facts are only a Google search away. But without a strong foundation of general knowledge, we can't use sites like Wikipedia effectively. We also need thinking tools so that we can critically analyze what we find.

In short, we still need to memorize things today, but they’re different things than what we needed to memorize in the past.

We don’t need facts and figures. We need mental models, cognitive skills, and the why behind how the world works.

Too often, school gets things backward.

Kids learn to memorize things not to improve their understanding or critical thinking, but to score well on tests. They learn to parrot back the right answer—even when they don’t know what it means.

As a teacher, I saw this dynamic when my students struggled to apply concepts they had memorized. As soon as they faced an open-ended question, they went blank. They could tell me the formula—but they didn’t know how to put it into action. 

It looked like they were learning, but they were really imitating learning. They figured out how to give technically correct answers, even when they didn’t understand the concepts. It was extremely frustrating… but it doesn't have to be that way.

Let’s talk about 3 principles for doing memorization right:

1. Pair memory with meaning

Kids need to learn the what and the why.

They need to memorize important facts and learn what they mean. They need to know the reason things work the way they do.

For example, it’s important for kids to memorize their multiplication tables. Otherwise, they’re stuck with either their calculators or repeated mental addition, which are both inefficient.

However, it’s not enough to memorize that 3x5=15.

They also need to understand that 3x5=15 means three groups with five items inside each group. That way, they grasp the principle behind multiplication.

Genuine learning happens when we can get to the right answer because we understand how things work. 

It helps us store in our brains not only facts and figures but, more importantly, the reasoning process that leads us to these answers.

2. Focus on the most important things

School tends to jump to memorization as the tool of first choice. But it takes a lot of time and effort for knowledge to stick through pure memorization. Instead, teachers should only focus on the most useful information.

For example, is it the best use of a child’s time to memorize the 50 states?

Certainly, they should understand the landscape of US geography in broad strokes. But will knowing the names of states help them make important life decisions? Probably not.

In general, we shouldn’t make kids memorize trivia in school. Trivia includes things that are:

• Not relevant to daily life

• Not important for major decisions

• Not fundamental to how the world works

The 50 states do not meet these criteria—but poetry does.

Now, it might seem like poetry is the prime example of something not worth memorizing, but the truth is quite the opposite. Poetry is often a great way to remember important wisdom for life.

Consider this line from Alfred, Lord Tennyson:

“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Tennyson beautifully summarizes a truth we should all remember. It’s relevant to daily life, important for major decisions, and fundamental to how the world works. As a result, it’s well worth the time necessary to lodge in our memory both the words and meaning of the poem.

3. Build a memory palace

Traditional forms of memorization are painful, for both student and teacher. Flashcards and tears go hand in hand. Thankfully, there’s a better way.

Joshua Foer learned about this method when he wrote a story about the US Memory Championships. As he interviewed competitors, they insisted they weren’t special. Anyone could learn their techniques. So, Foer practiced their tactics—and then won the championship the next year.

In his book, Moonwalking with Einstein, Foer unpacks how these competitions are won. The first step, he says, is recognizing that our memories work exceptionally well. All we have to do is use them the way they’re designed to work.

For example, we naturally remember two things quite well: places and unusual things.  Numbers and facts, however, are boring. They just don’t stick. So, to remember something bland, translate it into something more memorable. 

Think of a place you know extremely well, like your childhood home. Visualize it in your mind. Take a walk through all its rooms. Try to picture all the couches, chairs, and cabinets. Take something hard to remember, like a grocery list:

🍎 apples
🧈 butter
🧻 toilet paper

Put each item in a spot of your memory palace. The apples in the mailbox, the butter on the welcome mat, toilet paper on the kitchen counter.

In your mind, walk past the mailbox, through the front door, and into the kitchen. As you pass each item, picture it doing something ridiculous. Maybe the apples are singing, the butter is on fire, and the toilet paper is frozen. The crazier, the better!

Imagine what you'd experience as you passed each item. You’d smile as you listened to the sweet song of the apples. You’d feel the heat radiating off of the butter. A chill would run through your hand when you touched the toilet paper.

Now, when you go to the store, simply walk through your memory palace. Each item will automatically jump to mind. The place is so familiar to you, and the situation is so extreme, your memory won’t have any problem telling you exactly what you need to remember.

With these three principles, we can turn memorization from something that's frustrating and irrelevant into an activity that is useful, meaningful, and lasting.

What other principles have worked for you?

Have a great weekend!

Ana Lorena Fabrega

P.S. A friendly reminder that Fab Fridays is now going out every 2 weeks so I can focus on finishing the book manuscript before baby arrives in October! I know I skipped last week… I’m also moving and things are pretty crazy on my end 😅

Happy Friday and greetings from Boston.

This week I’d like to share my latest YouTube video on The Psychology of Screens. This has been one of my most viewed and shared write-ups, so I decided to turn it into a video that is hopefully entertaining and informative. 

Many parents worry that their kids are spending too much time on screens. Do they lack self-control? Or are deeper factors at play?

Watch this video to learn how to manage your kids' screen time.

If you find this video useful, please like and share it with any parent facing similar issues. Thank you!

The Socratic Method

I’m in Boston this week for my husband’s five-year MBA reunion (+ 2 year COVID delay) and it feels great to be back. Harvard Business School is a magical place, with beautiful architecture, history in every corner, and some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.

One of my favorite things about HBS is their case-study approach to education. Other business schools use lectures, where professors tell students different frameworks and theories for them to memorize. But HBS does things differently. Over the two-year MBA program, students read over 500 cases about real-life business problems. Professors then challenge students to share how they would lead or advise the companies and their leaders.

HBS professors use the Socratic method, a teaching technique going back to the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. Instead of telling his students the answers, he forced them to clarify their ideas, question their assumptions, and back up their ideas with evidence. These questions force students to think for themselves. As a result, graduates of HBS are much better prepared to make hard decisions.  

“How do you go into an ambiguous situation and get to the bottom of it? That skill – the skill of figuring out a course of inquiry, to choose a course of action – that skill is a relevant today as it was in 1921.” — Jan Rivkin, Senior Associate Dean Chair & MBA Program

We use a similar approach at Synthesis. Instead of lecturing students, we challenge them to dive into ambiguous situations through our simulations. They practice making difficult decisions, like the right way to manage wildfires, curate art collections, and colonize space. The rules aren’t clear—they have to learn through trial and error. And after each session, our teachers guide them to reflect on their experiences through Socratic questions.

Similar to HBS grads, our students are better equipped to think for themselves and make decisions in the real world because they have some experience under their belts.

NUVU Studio

I also had the chance to visit two schools while here in Boston: The Learning Project, a small private school in the Back Bay area where I worked as a first and third grade teacher seven years ago, and Nuvu Studio.

It was fascinating to see the contrast between the two schools: The Learning Project is more traditional, while Nuvu Studio is at the edge of innovation.

Nuvu is a hands-on, studio-based high school for young designers, entrepreneurs, makers, and inventors. That’s right, my kind of place! Students grades 8-12 immerse in interdisciplinary projects, called “studios,” where they learn how to navigate open-ended problems, collaborate effectively, and communicate their ideas using a variety of media. Similar vibe to Synthesis, but in person.

My favorite thing about the school was all the “chaos” that signaled there was learning going on. The projects displayed around the school were evidence of the amount of agency students have over their learning.

A few other things I liked:

• The teachers at NUVU (called coaches) get to experiment with ideas without parameters and push the boundaries of education to see what works and what makes kids “tick”. They are constantly trying new things and open to anything! It was very refreshing to see.

• Students that go through the Nuvu program acquire the skill of “figuring things out.” When they see something they’ve never approached before, they are more willing to dive in and figure it out. This is such a fundamental skill for any job now a days and it’s an acquired skill that needs to be taught. We do it at Synthesis as well!

• Unlike traditional school, kids at Nuvu are not interrupted every 45 minutes to switch subjects. They get to immerse in their learning experience and integrate all subjects as they work through real problems.

• Nuvu has an initiative called NuvuX where they partner with schools around the world to bring their pedagogy and creative curriculum to kids all over the globe. For example, they have partner schools in Scotland, England, Hawaii, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and more. If you are interested in partnering with them, make sure you reach out to them!

Nuvu is the example of the kind of creative and entrepreneurial education every kid deserves. An inviting place, focused on innovation and hands-on learning, where kids get to tinker, experiment, and bring their ideas to life. It’s never too early for kids to get started with entrepreneurial projects. They can have a huge impact on their communities and the world through their work and ideas.

A special thank you to Rob MacDonald, Director of Academics at Nuvu, for inviting me to this fascinating place.

If you work at an alternative school like Nuvu, let me know! I’d love to learn about it and perhaps visit sometime. 

Until next time, 

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Maybe they’re refusing to put on their shoes or get ready for bed.

But with the right tactics, you can turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and connection.

In their book, The Whole-Brain Child, Drs. Siegel and Bryson share the story of Katie.

She used to love school, but after getting sick in class one day, she started to fight her dad tooth and nail every morning. One morning as he left, she yelled at him, "I'll die if you leave me!"

All kids, including Katie, are still learning to coordinate thoughts and feelings.

Their behavior might look like defiance, but it's actually them struggling to process situations. And with a little brain science, we can better empathize and guide them to handle hard things well.

The human brain has four sections:

• left brain = logic

• right brain = emotion

• upstairs brain = thoughtful

• downstairs brain = reactive

In children, these four sections haven’t learned to work together. And when kids’ logic, emotions, thoughtfulness, and instincts aren’t integrated, it makes it very hard for them to handle difficulties well.

It’s like watching a teenage boy play soccer after a big growth spurt. His left leg doesn’t know what his right leg is doing—which inevitably leads to a few awkward tumbles.

Katie, for example, struggled to balance her right-brain emotions with her left-brain logic.

Or consider Grant, a four-year-old who tried to hit his sister for losing his favorite rock. He struggled to balance his downstairs reaction with his upstairs thoughtfulness. Thankfully, their parents have opportunities to help them grow.

Our brains are incredibly plastic. They rewire themselves as we go through experiences and reflect upon them. That means parents can coach kids, help them build their brains, and develop mental health.

Drs. Siegel and Bryson offer a range of helpful insights for parents in their book.

Here are 5 of my favorites:

1. Connect and redirect

Often, kids get overwhelmed with feelings. Maybe they say something confusing like this: “Mom, you never leave me a note in the middle of the night and I hate homework!”

When kids make unreasonable assertions, it’s tempting to respond with demands:

• ❌ “That doesn't make any sense. And what are you doing out of bed? Go back to your room right now!"

This response addresses their left brain logic—but that’s exactly what they’re struggling to use!

Instead of demands, connect with their right-brain emotions and redirect with left-brain logic:

• ✅ “Want me to leave you a note tonight? And I’ve got some ideas about homework, but it’s late now, so let’s talk more tomorrow.”

This response shows them how they can accept their strong emotions and give them validity. But also sets a positive example of how they can bring their logic into play and make wise decisions.

Most of all, you’re turning a moment of frustration into an opportunity to connect.

2. Name it to tame it

We usually want to simply move on when kids get overpowered with emotion. But this only coils up their deep feelings, causing them to spring back stronger later on.

Instead, encourage kids to process their emotions out loud with you.

Siegel and Bryson share how one nine-year-old girl named Bella didn’t want to flush the toilet after she saw it overflow once.To help her overcome her fear, her dad sat her down and asked her to tell the story.

She recounted all the details—and soon her fears went away. Bella’s dad helped her activate her left-brain logic. Their conversation let her walk through what happened and tame her anxieties with reason.

As a result, the two sides of her brain had the chance to practice working together.

3. Engage, don’t enrage

When kids don’t get what they want, their downstairs brain tends to take control, triggering a strong gut reaction.

When you don’t get them the necklace they want, they might lash out: “I hate you mommy!”

Our natural instinct is to respond in kind with our own downstairs reaction:

• ❌ “That is not OK to say. I don’t want you to ever say that again!”

However, their downstairs brain can’t thoughtfully process your correction. Instead, try engaging their upstairs brain:

• Them: “I hate you!”

• ✅ You: “Wow, you’re really mad. Is it because I didn’t get you that necklace?”

• Them: “Yes! You’re so mean!”

• ✅ You: “That necklace wasn’t for sale. It’s ok if you want to keep feeling upset, but if you’d rather, we can be problem-solvers and think of another idea.”

4. Use it or lose it

Kids need their downstairs and upstairs brains to flourish. But when they're little, their upstairs brain needs extra help.

If they rarely practice being thoughtful, they’ll tend to rely too much on their gut and struggle to reach their full potential. As Siegel and Bryson put it:

“The upstairs brain is like a muscle: when it gets used, it develops, gets stronger, and performs better. And when it gets ignored, it doesn’t develop optimally, losing some of its power and ability to function.”

In other words, we need to let kids make decisions for themselves.

They need the chance to weigh different options, consider alternatives, and think through the outcomes of their choices. That practice is critical for their brains to mature and grow stronger.

5. Move it or lose it

We tend to think our brains and bodies are two separate things. But they’re actually intimately connected. As a result, physical activity can be a big help to kids when they’re struggling to stay mentally balanced. 

One mother shares how her son was struggling with his homework. When she came in his room, he was curled up into a ball under his bean bag. She encouraged him to sit down and try working again, but he couldn’t make progress. Then, all of the sudden, he darted out of the house and ran several blocks. He came back, settled down, had a snack, and calmly finished his homework with his mom.

In short, a little exercise can go a long way when our kids (or we ourselves) are struggling.

In the above examples, the goal isn’t to teach them some parts of their brains are bad and others are good. To live full lives, we need all four: our emotions, instincts, logic, and thoughtfulness.

The key is to help kids integrate all four parts together so they can develop balanced, healthy brains.

With Siegel and Bryson’s insights, we can gain a deeper understanding of our children. We can go from trying to survive the toughest moments with our kids to sparking deep conversations that’ll help them thrive. 

What are some similar tactics you use with your kids?

Have a great weekend,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

P.S. I am on a tight deadline to finish the manuscript of my book, so starting next week you will receive Fab Fridays every two weeks. I intend to have a good draft ready by September this year, right before baby Fer arrives. Thanks for your patience!

How is it that almost every industry has changed over the past 100 years except for education?

I did my research and came to some interesting conclusions.

Contrary to what you’ve been told, the education system isn’t broken. It does exactly what it was designed to do. But the purpose of that design might surprise you…

In the past, education was the job of parents, private tutors, and churches. But about 200 years ago, that started to change in a region of Germany called Prussia.

Government leaders decided they needed to take responsibility to educate children.

Why?

They had just suffered a major loss. Napoleon’s army had decisively beaten them and taken much of their land. As a result, Prussia decided to build an army of educated, loyal soldiers. They never wanted to experience a defeat like that again.

So, Prussia designed the basics of our modern school system:

• specialized buildings

• teacher certifications

• standardized curriculum

• extended school year

• mandated attendance

The goal was to train a generation of loyal, literate citizens prepared for war.

They taught “academic freedom,” but it was limited by service to the state.

As the philosopher Johann Gottlieb Fichte put it:

"The citizens should be made able and willing to use their own minds to achieve higher goals in the framework of a future unified German nation state.”

This system worked exceptionally well. Prussia built one of the strongest fighting forces in the world. Their model spread across the world like wildfire! And it eventually evolved into the school systems we use today.

Perhaps the Prussian model served a purpose. It helped poor children receive education when they wouldn’t have otherwise. As a result, literacy rates skyrocketed (analyze the trend here.)

However, the Prussian model also contributed to nationalism, one of the main drivers of World War I.

In short: it used education as a mask for indoctrination.

Students were taught to question everything—except for what parents, teachers, and politicians told them. From the start, the system wasn’t designed to help kids think for themselves. This bias is lodged deep in the bones of modern education.

I would even argue that some of the lessons taught in schools today hurt many kids. Read here for more:

If the system can improve, it won't be easy. It needs big changes—and those changes aren’t likely to come through reforms from the inside.

It’s time for more families to consider an exit from the modern system and become more involved. Here are some options to exit the system without leaving school and ways parents can get more involved in their kids’ education.

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

• Susan, CEO of YouTube 

• Anne, CEO of 23andMe 

• Janet, professor at UCSF

How did Esther raise so many successful kids?

In her best-selling book, How To Raise Successful People, Esther says the key is a philosophy called TRICK:

Of course, what parent wouldn’t agree with these five values? They seem obvious—and maybe even a little trivial. 

But what makes Esther’s philosophy special is how she applies them in real-life situations.

Let’s look at some examples:

1. Trust 

Trust means believing kids can figure things out for themselves. 

For example, one Saturday Esther’s grandson (12 YO) needed a haircut and her two granddaughters (8 YO) needed school supplies. But she didn’t have time for both trips. So, she dropped her grandson off at the barbershop and let him pick his haircut. And dropped off her granddaughters at Target and let them buy their supplies. 

Both are relatively safe places, but to many parents, this still might sound crazy. How will they know what to do?

Esther uses this story to make a powerful point: if we don’t trust kids to do things, they’ll never learn to take care of themselves. They’ll turn into adults who aren't confident enough to solve their own problems. But if we give them trust, they learn to trust themselves.

2. Respect

Respect means supporting kids as they identify and pursue their own goals.

Esther's grandson, Jacob, was slow to start walking. At 18 months, he was still scooting around the floor on his bottom. The doctor said his legs worked fine, but his parents still worried.

Jacob loved basketball, so Esther took him to Gymboree. Immediately, he was glued to the other kids dribbling. One kid took a shot, the ball bounced away, and Jacob ran to go take his turn.

Jacob knew how to walk. He just needed a good enough reason to show everyone else. In Esther’s words:

“Parents need to calm down. Your kids will walk. They will talk… Kids need to be allowed to take the lead. That means you follow them. Children know who they are. Your job is to honor and respect that.”

You can show respect by nurturing your kids’ autonomy and individuality.

3. Independence

Independence means not doing anything for your kids that they can do for themselves.

In other words, it means giving kids lots of age-appropriate levels of freedom. That way, they start learning to take care of themselves from their earliest years.

Esther, for example, used the “pause principle” with her newborns. When her babies cried in the night, she would wait a moment before comforting them. This short break gives infants a chance to practice self-soothing and take their first steps toward independence.

Esther says: “I know this will sound crazy to some people, but here’s my ultimate goal as a teacher and parent: to make myself obsolete. That’s right. I want kids to be so independent that they no longer need me.”

4. Collaboration

Collaboration means working with kids like partners in crime.

That’s how Esther ran her classrooms. Instead of lecturing at students, she let them contribute to discussions, decisions, and even discipline. But the school admin didn’t like this model.

“The rebel in me came up with an unusual idea. I told my students what was happening to me, and that the next time the principal came to evaluate me, they needed to be totally quiet or I was going to be fired. I actually told them that. I trusted them… and I had nothing to lose.” Esther shares.

Her idea worked!

Ordinarily, the classroom buzzed with collaboration, but when the principal entered, the kids stopped talking, sat still, and Esther gave a lecture. The class got high behavior marks, Esther kept her job, and the students kept their teacher.

5. Kindness

Kindness means living a life filled with care, warmth, empathy, and concern for others.

According to Esther, it’s the most important parenting principle. Trust, respect, independence, and collaboration must lead to kids who add more kindness to the world.

Kindness needs two things to grow: examples and practice.

Esther taught her daughters with her actions, the books she read, and the shows she recommended. She challenged them to always lend a hand, make eye contact, smile, and offer greetings...small things with huge impact.

Ironically, Esther notes, helicopter parenting tends to sacrifice kindness in favor of personal success.  

But kindness is key to personal success.

Whether you’re trying to get into Stanford or Google, recruiters look for candidates who’ll treat others well.

Esther raised three talented daughters, but their real success isn't their prestigious jobs. What matters most is that they’re independent thinkers who can take care of themselves and show kindness to others.

And with TRICK, any parent can raise their kids the same way.

In addition to getting her book, I recommend listening to Esther's conversation with Shane Parrish on the Knowledge Project Podcast and reading this amazing Profile by Polina Marinova.

I’d love to hear from you: what are some of your parenting tricks?

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Look for Ms. Fab’s first book next fall 2023!

Here’s how it happened and what I’m cooking up:

In the book, I’ll map lessons we need to unlearn and challenge us to rethink education.

THE BIG IDEA: school should look like a startup lab, not a factory.

It's for anyone whose job involves learning and teaching: parents, educators, managers, coaches, entrepreneurs, and more.

For the past 2.5 years, I’ve written nearly 100 newsletters, but newsletters come with a big downside. It’s hard to find old articles and hard to share more than one link at a time. So, I decided to weave together all of my ideas into a single book on alternative education.

When someone chooses to write a book, they might have three different goals:

1. Money 🤑

2. Fame ✨ (aka New York Times Best Seller)

3. Reach 🗣

I’m totally dedicated to goal number 3. My passion is to spread new ideas about education to as many people as possible.

My first instinct was to publish the book myself.

That’s how I've built my audience since day 1: avoid legacy media, cut through the noise, speak directly to parents. Plus, I didn't think traditional publishers would be interested. But something surprising happened…

I started receiving inquiries from companies wanting to publish my book. And not just any book companies: members of the Big Five, like Penguin Random House.

At first I was skeptical, but after a few conversations, I realized they bring something powerful to the table: distribution.

Traditional publishers are the best in the business at moving huge quantities of books.  But they also come with one huge downside: loss of control. Once they buy the rights to a book from an author, it’s their property. Ultimately, they make the decisions.

So, I faced a looming question:

How should I publish my book?

Should I sell the manuscript to a traditional publisher? Or publish it on my own?

At this point, I was leaning heavily toward the traditional route. It seemed like the best way to reach the most people……but David Perell wouldn’t let me do it! He advocated hard for me to keep the rights to the book and retain control of my message.

Then, my friend Sahil Bloom pitched me an idea: What if there was a third option What if there was a publisher that partnered with their authors?

Sahil connected me with Harriman House—and they’ve been amazing to work with. They give authors total control but also provide incredible distribution.

Example: Morgan Housel has sold 1M+ copies of “The Psychology of Money” with them (though he probably didn't need much help 😝 — if you haven’t read this book yet, it’s a MUST)

Throughout this process, I realized again the power of Twitter. It’s how I’ve fleshed out my ideas—and met many of you! It's why I now count David and Sahil as friends and advisors. And how I found Janis Ozolins and his amazing art for the book.

My book-writing journey has only begun. I can’t thank you enough for walking along with me. I want to write something unique that’s truly helpful, enjoyable, and insightful for readers.

So, tell me: what would you like to see in the book?

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

P.S. Baby boy is growing by the second! I’m starting to feel better this second trimester. Thank you for all the love, good vibes, and tips you’ve sent over! My heart is full.

Stoicism is a philosophy of life from ancient Greece that taught true happiness comes from self-mastery, perseverance, and moral virtue.

For thousands of years, the world's greatest leaders studied Stoicism, from the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius to George Washington, Theodore Roosevelt, and many more.

You can read more about Stoicism here.

Educators back then used the Stoic framework to train responsible citizens equipped to do the right thing, even when times got hard.

But what does “the right thing” mean? Let’s unpack the 4 Stoic virtues:

1. Courage

Courage is the bravery to face adversity.

It doesn’t mean we’re never scared, but that when we’re scared, we decide to take action instead of run away. It’s the will to press forward, put our 🍑 on the line and our skin in the game.

2. Temperance

Courage is wonderful but we go too far when we take unnecessary risks. 

It's a spectrum: cowardice on the far left, recklessness on the far right, courage in the middle. We should be brave, not fearful, but we should also avoid foolishness—that’s temperance.

3. Justice

For the Stoics, justice is the highest virtue.

It means that we exist for the sake of others, not ourselves. Everything we do should contribute to the good of society. We must treat others the way we want to be treated and act with honesty, respect, and fairness.

4. Wisdom

Wisdom means making our philosophy work in the real world.

What’s the right amount courage? How do I act with justice in this situation? Wisdom helps us answer these questions, turn our ideas about virtue into action, and make choices with long-term benefits.

Courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom—four powerful principles for guiding our decisions. 

But how can we make the leap from knowing them in our heads to using them in our lives?

Here are 4 tactics for you and your kids:

1. Read stories of heroes

It’s hard to grasp the benefits of virtue without concrete examples. That’s what makes stories so powerful, especially classic ones from history.

Greek mythology was designed for this specific purpose. You tell them of Hercules, who chose a life of courage over pleasure and ease. Or Odysseus, who used wisdom to escape dangerous enemies like a cyclops.

With clear examples in mind, it’s easier for kids to understand virtue, see its benefits, and integrate it into their lives. 

2. Focus on what we control

Talk with kids about how they can’t always control what happens, but they can control how they respond.

Sometimes, friends decide to be mean—but that doesn’t mean we have to be mean back.

For example, instead of lashing out in anger, kids can practice calming down by reciting each letter of the alphabet silently to themselves. They can take a pause and practice temperance and justice.

3. Use a virtue journal

Journaling is an important part of Stoicism, but the Stoics didn’t keep ordinary journals. They didn’t just write down the events of their day and their emotions. Instead, they kept track of their principles and focused on growing their character.

Ordinary journals help kids develop self-awareness, but a virtue journal adds an extra benefit: healthy self-criticism.

It provides kids with an open space for reflection on areas of growth and improvement as they work to become better people.

4. Look at virtue like a muscle

Sometimes, kids might feel discouraged by the big gap between who they are and who they want to become. That’s why it’s so important to talk about how virtue is like a muscle.

When we first go to the gym, we want instant results, but to make progress, we have to show up consistently and put in the effort. It’s the same with virtue. It’s hard at first, but with enough time, effort, and reflection, our character grows stronger and stronger.

I’ve enjoyed learning about Stoicism from Ryan Holiday.

Here are some of his resources that inspired me:

• His book Courage Is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave

• His article on teaching Stoicism to kids: How To Teach Your Children About Stoicism

• His conversation with Shane Parrish: A Stoic Life

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

I’m proud to announce that Balaji Srinivasan, entrepreneur and angel investor, and Amjad Masad, CEO of Replit, are co-leading a $12 million investment in the company.  

We are thrilled to accelerate our mission to build the future of childhood education.

What a journey it’s been over the past year and a half. It feels surreal to have transitioned from a traditional classroom to the edge of innovation in education.

Here’s the story of how it happened:

When I joined the founding team with Chrisman Frank and Josh Dahn, we had a big vision and a few brave kids embarking on our crazy experiment. Today, we have thousands of active students, and thousands more waiting to join.

We’ve grown 5x in 12 months!

Our goal is to create supercollaborators, people who can work together to solve complex problems to advance human civilization.

In case you missed it, here’s the story of how Synthesis came about:

Our students compete in teams to run movie studios, curate art collections, confront the challenges of efficiency while colonizing space, find the best networks, manage ocean ecosystems, and more.

Unlike traditional school, we put kids in front of hard problems and let them loose. And kids love it.

I still get chills when I hear our students describe their experience:

We recently launched Progression, a new model that lets kids tackle harder challenges at their own pace. In the past, kids learned in 1-hour weekly cohorts, but now we’re moving to a network. Kids can connect with friends and dive into tough problems whenever they want.

Additionally, we’re creating a student portal where kids can join a community of young problem solvers, go on quests, track their learning progress, and review their key decisions in the games.

Imagine a dashboard where kids can review their most impactful “aha” moments and reflect on what they learned…a space for meaningful reflection: one thing I always felt was missing in traditional classrooms.

We are also working on a new curriculum, where we help students learn the "meta game" — the concepts that apply across games and life. Imagine a world where kids learn the most important concepts from any subject by tackling engaging challenges with peers from around the globe.

We’re turning traditional education on its head.

In typical curricula, kids rarely get the chance to apply their new knowledge. At Synthesis, kids learn concepts in context and master new knowledge by using it to overcome challenges. Every new idea is immediately applicable.

If you’d like to learn more, follow our Complexity Scientist and head of curriculum Joe Norman.

Joe is looking for new team members who are quick studies, think with exceptional clarity, integrate theory and practice, love kids, and have a background in science or engineering.

If you’re looking for a different role, reach out to our CEO Chrisman Frank on Twitter. He’s also a great follow to learn about education because, like Josh, he puts his skin in the game. Here’s an example:

I plan to do something very similar with my kids 🤸🏽

The vision Josh incubated at SpaceX continues to push the boundaries on how I think about kids and learning. Now we’re making it available for kids all over the world.

This is only year 2! I can’t imagine what we’ll see when we hit years 5 and 10 (and 20 and so on…)

If you want to join the Synthesis team, here is our careers page. And if you want to enroll your kiddos (ages 6-14) sign up here.

Thanks for everything you’ve done to support this mission with us.

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

Ms. Fab’s content is about to take whole new twist…get excited!

Here’s a sweet video with the reactions of my friends and family when we announced the news…our hearts are so full.

But with all the excitement, I must say, this first trimester has been BRUTAL. I have a newfound appreciation for working moms and moms-to-be.

The 24/7 nausea, fatigue, brain fog, hormone imbalance…I feel like I’m hungover all the time.

The hardest part has been feeling like I’m not in control of my body or time for the first time ever. Trying to create a human while keeping up with the weekly content creation has been a real struggle… so thank you for being patient and supportive!

I’m trying to be gentle with myself and remember that this is temporary. I’m feeling optimistic that second trimester will be better so I can get back at it :)

For the rest of the year I’ll be focusing on the baby and my book. I look forward to share updates about that soon!

Have a great weekend,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

They aren’t in a place to take their kids out of school.

Nevertheless, they still see the major problems with the traditional system.

They want something better for their kids. But homeschooling takes lots of time.

The good news is that there are other options which can give kids an off ramp out of the system.

Here are 8 ways kids can exit the system without leaving school:

1. Self-Directed Learning Communities

Programs like Galileo help kids make friends with peers who share their interests and design their own curriculums together. They can learn coding, game design, art, writing, and entrepreneurship in over 100 classes.

2. Forest Schools

Forest School programs put kids at the center, connect them with each other and nature, and challenge them to take responsibility and make meaning for themselves.

You can lead forest-school sessions yourself or sign kids up for a program.

3. Team Problem-Solving

Synthesis School empowers kids to solve the world’s hardest problems.

They compete in teams to win simulations by debating ideas, testing tactics, communicating decisions, taking ownership, and drawing out the best in each other.

4. Cultivate Creativity at Home

Kids can learn to build, make, and create from home—and it doesn’t require parents to give art lessons.

Here are 10 tips to create an environment that helps creativity take root and flourish:

5. Project-Based Learning

Programs like Arduino challenge kids with projects that teach them chemistry, physics, electronics, coding, and more.

They ship all the components to your door, provide online training and support, and let kids learn by doing.

6. Online STEAM Classes

Many schools struggle to offer quality classes in science, tech, engineering, art, and math.

Thankfully, platforms like Brilliant Org, Skillshare, and Khan Academy offer a plethora of amazing courses on all of these subjects.

7. Foster a love for reading

Let kids read freely and wildly. Let them try books and abandon them. Let them skim through books, and dive deep into what interests them.

Poems. Comic books. Nonfiction. Magazines. Cookbooks. The same book over and over.

Choice is the secret recipe to foster a love of reading. And once they develop a love for reading, they'll be able to teach themselves anything. Here are 6 tips I use to pick a good book.

8. Alternative Schools

If you can move your kids into a better school, consider exploring alternative programs based on these methods:

• Montessori

• Waldorf

• Reggio Emilia

Here’re some other alternative schools that I’m exploring as well:

• Sora Schools

• Higher Ground

• Acton Academy

Microschools

Microschools are also wonderful options, like those available through Prenda and other networks.

To find a good one, look for these features:

• mixed age groups

• child-centered curriculum

• project-based learning

For little kids, check out platforms like Weekdays Microschools.

Look for programs focused on free play, where kids explore and create on their own. Avoid ones that talk about "play" but really mean adult-led activities.

Read more here:

Alternative schools give families options outside of the traditional system. But even if moving schools isn’t in the cards for your family, there’s still hope. Ultimately, what you do together at home is what matters the most.

Kids need parents with skin in the game. 

They need caregivers who love them, know them, challenge them, and personally invest in their education. Read more here:

The options I shared above are only a few of many opportunities.

What are you and your kids using to exit the traditional system?

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

For the past few months I’ve been working on a very special project that I can’t wait to share with you all soon. (Hint: It’s not my book!)

I haven’t had much time to write lately, so I’ll keep it short and sweet this week.

Here are 7 ways to help your kid want to learn:

1. Encourage Projects of Their Own

We tend to see education as something we do to kids: designing lessons, assigning books, making worksheets.

But kids learn best when they voluntarily tackle projects of their own. And kids know this. That’s why they drag their feet as they walk to school in the fall and sprint as far away as they can in the summer.

2. Prepare Their Environment

The environment plays a key role in creating the learning experiences your kid will have.

Make it easy for kids to access engaging challenges. Put necessary tools, materials, and resources at their fingertips, a variety of books within their reach, a bulletin board on the wall to hang their creations, and a dedicated workspace organized for independence.

This empowers them to take charge of their learning whenever their interest sparks.

3. Allow Healthy Obsessions

Kids crave mastery and love going into flow. 

That’s why they might pitch a fit when it’s time to leave the park or stop playing a game. Try to recognize that their passion is natural and give them space to dive deep.

4. Let Kids Quit

Kids obsess over stuff—and then stop.

They might beg for a violin, only to get board after three lessons. It may frustrate us, but it’s important to let kids quit. Give them freedom to experiment and explore their talents.

5. Teach with Stories

When kids ask questions, we can wrap our answers in a captivating story.

For example, if they ask about statistics, wait before opening Excel. First talk about Annie Duke and how she won poker championships by using probabilities. I expand on this idea here:

6. Negotiate, Don’t Command

When kids are really learning, they start thinking critically, expressing their opinions, and disagreeing with adults.

Resist the temptation to “put them in their place." Instead, invite them into collaborative negotiations. Here’s how:

7. Connect Them with Peers

Humans are social and imitative creatures. 

We naturally want to learn more when we’re around peers who want to learn as well. Find social learning opportunities like Synthesis where thoughtful kids connect, solve problems, and work together.

With these seven tactics, we can help kids get the most out of their most formative years. And most importantly, we can help them learn to love learning for a lifetime.

What other things have you tried at home that work for your kids?

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega

John Taylor Gatto.

Gatto was a celebrated educator, named New York City’s Teacher of the Year three times in a row. But after 30 years in the school system, he quit.

He was tired of teaching a curriculum that he saw harm many kids.

After quitting, Gatto wrote “Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling.” This was the first book I read after I quit teaching, and it resonated with me in so many levels.

In this book, Gatto argued that schools force educators to teach kids 7 dangerous lessons. Let’s unpack each one:

Lesson 1: Confusion

School sequences are crazy. They don't help kids build a coherent picture of the world.

Students learn trigonometry but never get a chance to build anything. They miss the chance to see how a hypotenuse applies, like when designing a house.

In Gatto’s words, “Everything I teach is out of context.”

No wonder kids are confused about how things fit together. This results in countless students graduating with a volume of academic junk that doesn’t prepare them for the future.

Lesson 2: Class Position

As Gatto put it, schools “teach that students must stay in the class where they belong. Everyone has a proper place in the pyramid.”

Kids learn to stay put, mature at the same rate as everyone else, and fit the mold of the model student.

Student. Teacher. Star of the Week. Valedictorian.

School has a neat category for everyone, making each person’s position clear. Kids are encouraged to seek status, compete, and please adults, instead of learning and collaborating together.

Lesson 3: Indifference

Kids learn “not to care about anything too much,” Gatto says.

As soon as the bell rings, kids are forced to turn their interests “on and off like a light switch.” When a unit is finished, students are expected to stop studying the previous subject, no matter how much they liked it.

Kids can't follow their obsessions or dive deep into topics they love. Those who do get left behind.

Lesson 4: Emotional Dependency

Kids learn to rely on teachers to tell them how they should feel.

As Gatto says: “By using stars and red checks; smiles and frowns; prizes and punishments; I force children to become emotionally dependent upon my praise.”

Consider a teacher’s body language. It’s one of our most powerful tools. Warm and welcoming, stern and closed off. 

Students are taught to feel what their teachers want them to feel. They have no space to develop emotional independence.

Lesson 5: Intellectual Dependency

Kids miss the chance to think for themselves and develop their own perspectives.

“Good students wait for a teacher to tell them what to do,” as Gatto says. Kids learn to wait for other people to make the meanings of their lives.

They get labeled as “problem children" when they do things their own way or ask hard questions. They have little room to develop their own ideas.

Instead, kids are rewarded for championing the ideals of their teachers, whatever those might be.

Lesson 6: Provisional Self-esteem

Kids learn that their worth comes from what a professional thinks of them.

Report cards, grades, and tests teach kids that they "should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials.”

In the past, kids did most of their learning at home, which meant different kids brought unique perspectives to the classroom.

Now, parents are discouraged from getting too involved. Some kids even get shamed for holding beliefs that don’t align with state-approved curricula.

Lesson 7: One Can’t Hide

At school, kids are “always watched” and “under constant surveillance,” Gatto says.

They have no privacy, no personal space, and few rights. As a result, kids can't develop autonomy, which leads to problems like overusing screens.

People discover creative solutions when they have the freedom to experiment, fail, and try again.

But when kids are constantly evaluated, they can’t develop this skill. And in school, kids are always under the watchful eye of adults who are quick to correct them.

Of course, Gatto’s point isn’t that every kid experiences each of these problems. Or that all teachers fall into every trap. Instead, his point is that the education system as a whole tends to teach these unhelpful lessons.

Ultimately, teachers aren’t to blame. Many of us started for the right reasons. But the incentives of school nudge us in the wrong direction. No matter how hard we resist, the system takes its toll, and we start developing counterproductive habits as educators.

I certainly felt the force of this unhealthy system as a teacher—and most teachers I know feel it too. After working in schools for years, I also saw how the system resisted change. That’s the reason I left to explore options outside of traditional school.

I realized schools are so broken partly because they’re so centralized.

Most of them are run by the state. Even private schools often use the same framework. One flaw in the model flows out to impact nearly every kid in America.

To decentralize education, we need many education companies trying different tactics. We need innovators and independent thinkers experimenting with new ideas. And we need parents and kids willing to take risks.

That’s why I’m so bullish on alternative education.

It’s not about reforming the system. It’s about exiting the system and building many new and better options. That means returning to old wisdom, involving the family, and using technology to help.

Frustrated with traditional school, many parents see the promise of this approach. 

They’re cobbling together their own solutions: Homeschooling, local tutors, classes on Galileo and Khan Academy, team problem-solving with Synthesis etc.

But as many opportunities as there are today, we need even more. We need more educational startups and more entrepreneurial teachers. We need more people who’re fed up with the bureaucracy of school to step up so we can help kids prepare for a successful future.

If your school works well for you and your kids, that’s great! 

But if Gatto’s points resonated with you like they did with me, then this is your invitation to try something new.

Until next week,

Ana Lorena Fabrega